Why I Always Get Lost in My Own Hometown
By someone with excellent navigation skills — except in their own town
I’ve lived in the same town for about 12 years (or 13).
That means I:
I know the baker by name (his name’s Ton and he sells apple turnovers that should probably be illegal in 34 countries).
I know exactly when the neighbor waters her plants (Sundays at 10:03.. always with foam in her hair rollers).
I know which streetlamp flickers at night and makes it look like a rave for moths.
And yet… I still get lost! Every single time.🤣
Not a little bit.
No… I mean the “Where am I and why does this look like Almere (another Dutch town)?” kind of lost.
It usually starts when I try to take a new route to the supermarket (which is just a few blocks away). You know, a little moment of bravery. Adventure. Personal growth.
Four minutes later I find myself on an industrial site where even Google Maps says “Good luck, mate. I’m out.” 😅
Or take last week. My lil’ girl asked “Daddy, can we go to that playground near the house with the dog?”
Of course! Great idea. Only… which house with which dog?
We live in a neighborhood where every house has a dog.
Some even have more than one.
One house has a dog and a rooster. (The rooster has an Instagram account. 321 followers. I swear.)
So we walked. And walked. And walked…
My daughter next to me. Full of trust.
“Daddy knows the way.”
Well… daddy did not know the way.
At some point I wasn’t even sure we were still in our own neighborhood.😅
“Are we almost there?”
“Sure, sweetheart,” I said.
We were standing in a soccer field. In a different neighborhood.
“But there’s no slide here,” she said.
“Uhh yeah that’s the new playground. Minimalist design. For kids with big imagination!”
Uhhh yoooo 🙈 At least I said something..!
And then there are the roundabouts.
My town is addicted to them.
There’s even one with another roundabout inside it. You think you’ve escaped and boom.. you’re right back in. Like Groundhog Day but with angry drivers honking because you accidentally took the same exit three times.
My wife says it’s because I “never pay attention”. I don’t think she realizes how much energy it takes not to panic when every street looks exactly the same.
My navigation works fine, as long as I actually use it.
But that would hurt my pride. I live here! For a long time!
I’m supposed to know these streets!
And yet… I get lost.
Every time.
With a smile though.
Because getting lost also means you discover new things.
A tiny alley with a cat staring at you like you’re the weird one.
A wall with graffiti of a banana with a mustache.
A random bench that makes you stop and think “Why is this even here?”
And then, despite it all, you feel at home.
Even if you have no idea where you are.
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I can relate. We live near a forest. One summer I found the perfect picnic spot. When my friend next visited I decided to take her there. Nothing. 🤔🤔Even Google couldn’t help me. We ended up just picnicking by the river. 🤦♀️